Love Thy Liver

The liver is a very important organ.  It filters toxins out of your body and when it gets upset or irritated, it lets you know.  Symptoms of liver stress include nausea, vomiting, stomach pain in your upper right quadrant (under your rib cage), and a general feeling of extreme yuckiness.  It's awful.  It's how my sickness started and I still feel my liver from time to time.  Apparently garlic is really good for your liver.  According to Chris, of ChrisBeatCancer.com, garlic is the number one disease fighting food.  It, and other allium veggies, actually stop cancer cells from growing.  He eats something like three crushed cloves a day, chased down with water, and takes garlic supplements.  He stinks.  He admits it.  If we all do this, I don't think it'd be a problem.

I don't drink alcohol at the moment.  I really like alcohol.  It was the thing I missed most when I was pregnant with Asher.  I missed my 1/2 a bottle of beer a day that turned the chore of cooking dinner into a time of pleasure.  Now, I don't drink because my liver is 'sensitive.'  This diagnosis is all mine; my doctors don't agree.  But I don't want to risk it.  For all of you who are able to enjoy your drink, I envy you.  I suggest taking a little Milk Thistle.  It's also supposed to be good for your liver if you drink.

So eat your garlic, take your thistle. And while you're at it, go ahead and add some Turmeric to your diet.  It's one of those incredible spices that does wonders for your immune system.  I add some to my smoothie daily.  And my quinoa.

Love thy liver.

I Need Yoga

I recently read a blog post by James Altucher called: 

THE ULTIMATE COLLEGE CHALLENGE TO FOOL MY KIDS INTO NOT GOING TO COLLEGE

In his post, he explains his belief that since everyone has a college degree, it's pretty much worthless in the workforce now and those four years could be better spent by really learning something or advancing in the workforce.  He told his kids to do one of the following things if they wanted him to pay for college.  They could try many and fail at them, but try they must, gaining experience and knowledge above and beyond that which they could've obtained during their college years.  

A) Make a youtube video (or channel) that has five million real views.
B ) Get past the second series of Ashtanga Yoga. (at least part of this has to occur in India).
C) Make a business that has over $50,000 in revenues in the 12th month.
D) Write a book (or set of books) that has more than 5000 paying readers
E) Create a blog that has over 100,000 unique monthly readers. Note: you don’t have to be the only writer on that blog.
F) Take 50 or more courses on Coursera. With me.
G) Intern with someone who is among the best in the world at what they do.
H) Organize at least 20 meetups of twenty people or more around a specific topic.
I) Run for political office and get at least 30% of the vote in a primary.
J) Have 50 people write to me explaining, in detail, how you saved their lives.

www.jamesaltucher.com

I, myself, am working on this list for my own benefit, partly because I have already done some of it and partly because I want to try more.

A) Youtube video...maybe not, but who knows.
B) Ashtanga - A definite possibility
C) business - SUCCESS!
D) book - in the process
E) blog - in progress
F) Coursera - signing up.  Not with James.
G) intern -  eh...I won't rule it out.
H) organize a group - Not sure about this one, either.
I) Definitely will not be running for office.
J) won't happen either.

But still, I like the gist of his list and the challenge he presents.  I just recently went back to yoga.  I used to be really 'into' yoga.  I practiced rigorously and became a certified yoga instructor and taught some classes.  I attended workshops and practiced on my own.  Then I sort of stopped.  Post-BMT, I just recently started Pure Barre again and today was my first yoga class.  I decided to return to my roots, where it all began, and made the trek down to Midtown Yoga.  My mom went with me and when I picked her up, we looked at each other and agreed that we never thought we'd be doing this again.  Our first yoga class was together, when I was a Sophomore in high school.  We would go to Midtown Yoga together often until I started taking harder and harder classes and we started going more often separately.  It has been a long time since we went to a class together.  Driving down, we chatted the whole way.  It's funny, my dad pointed out, that after 6 months together we still have stuff to talk about.  We walked into the studio and remembered why we used to drive all the way to midtown for yoga.  It's peaceful.  There's just something about it.  We had a great class with a gentle instructor.  After, we drove through the Love Shack for some juice and java.  We talked about the class and I realized how much I had needed yoga back in my life.  I am very competitive with myself when it comes to working out.  It probably stems from my days as a dancer, and I was no different in yoga, despite the whole POINT of yoga to achieve inner peace.  I tackled yoga like a sport, like a dancer tackles ballet.  I pushed myself harder and harder, advancing to the most advanced classes.  And while I think the athletic side of yoga is great too, for other benefits, I have also found that I need the 'easier' classes for my mental wellbeing.  I need the stretches and breathing to find my peace of mind.

On another note, I feel like I have cancer hanging over me.  Like it is an inevitable part of my future, specifically because of my suppressed immune system.  It makes my heart race daily, like there's a ticking clock running alongside of me.  For those of you scared of cancer or diagnosed with cancer, I recommend another blog: chrisbeatcancer.com.  Chris is from Memphis, lives in Midtown, and (you guessed it) beat cancer with food and exercise.  He's got an amazing story and shares other people's equally amazing recoveries.  He does a ton of research on the subject and while I did not have the option of no chemo and no transplant if I wanted to survive, I find his blog inspiring.  It helps me feel like I have some control in minimizing my already inflated chances of getting cancer, and I'm a control freak at heart.

I need to go back to yoga.

Autumn

This is my favorite time of year.  I love Autumn.  I love the crispness in the air, the leaves changing colors and falling off the trees, Thanksgiving, and my all-time fave, Halloween.  It's a little weird for me this year though.  This time last year is when I first got sick.  I was feeling good, as good as I feel now, and then BOOM, sick.  Right after my birthday in mid-October.  Everything reminds me of it right now.  We went to Lowe's today and I remember going to Lowe's right before it happened.  I remember laughing at Asher's excitement at all of the Halloween and Christmas decorations.  I remember looking forward to the holidays and the chilly air.  I've got a lot of deja vu going on.  Vocalizing it means it won't happen, right?

My 3 year old teenager

How did we end up with a 3 year old teenager?  I tried to evoke excitement for an upcoming, fun-filled event, to which Asher's response to, "Doesn't that sound fun?" involved a sullenly expressed, "Not really, Mom."  Followed by the eye-roll.  Okay, not a full-fledged roll, but definitely an eye-shift to the side, emphasizing how unfun it sounded.  He recently said, "Whatever." Refuses to discuss his day at school.  Retrieving information about his day is like pulling teeth.  Although, if he's really happy or excited, he'll pop.  It's like he can't contain his excitement and it comes bubbling out in the form a loudly yelled, "POP!" I love those pops.  I doubt he'll do that as a teenager.

Reading and Writing

You know that feeling you get after you've finished a really great book?  Like you've been changed somehow?  That's what I'm feeling right now.  I just finished The Time Between by Karen White.  Wow, what a great book.  I found myself marveling throughout the novel at the author's ability to create such a touching and powerful story, with characters complex and human.  So many times while reading I wondered how she came up with that.  As many of you know, I am writing my own fiction-based novel.  I am at 10,000 words now (a novel is typically around 60,000).  I said I would write every day, no matter if I felt like it or not, but I haven't.  Between trips, occasions, and life, I've found it hard to find time to write and harder still when I sit down to try.  I pretty much have to reread the story, which takes some time, to remember where I am and what's happened.  However, despite the hiccups in my trajectory, I will soldier on.  I still love writing it and feel immense pleasure when I take up my keyboard to delve back in.  Today, though, I had to finish White's book.  I couldn't put it down.  I thought at one point, how could I write a book after reading one from such an accomplished author.  I've had this discussion before.  If there is no hope of writing like JK Rowling, why bother?  Let the masters make their masterpieces.  While I have nowhere near the ability of these and many great authors, the process of creating something entirely my own from nothing is truly invigorating.

Moderation

Never one to diet, my grandmother has always lived and eaten according to moderation.  My brother-in-law recently sent me an article on debunking so-called "clean" eating.  Basically, the article explained that food is food, there is no such thing as clean food, and while some foods are better for you than others, any and all in moderation is fine.  As my mother-in-law says, the hard part of moderation is moderation.  I completely agree.  While I am currently not one to really shun any food group, I have been known in the past to be pretty strict about my nutrition and my son's.  These days, I sing a little different tune, aiming more for moderation, with a sticky side of sweet binging that may need some tweaking.  My husband, who could not believe I didn't eat meat when he met me and made fun of me for years for my healthy ways, will now not touch red meat (after watching Forks Over Knives) and insists on sending Asher something green or veggie every day for lunch regardless of whether or not he will actually eat said green.  Funny how things change.

August's End

Nothing feels quite so good as toes in the sand, salt in the air, and the surf sounds rushing in with the wind.  I couldn't quite believe we were in Seaside after this crazy year.   It had been ten years since I had last seen Seaside, and while there were some obvious changes (new restaurants and shops and awesome food trucks), much of what I remembered was the same.  The houses were quaint and colorful, the tourists were happy, and there was a lot of ice cream to be eaten.  We traveled by bicycles, with Asher in a caboose, and lived in our make-believe bubble for Labor Day Weekend.  It was a perfect beach trip.  Asher and Lawson spent all day playing in the sand, crashing in the afternoon, and every evening was spent back on the beach, nights topped off with ice cream.  After a brief visit to St. Louis, where I got to reconnect with two dear friends and convince my doctor that I didn't need any more IVIG (woohoo!), this end to August was very sweet.

Books

In the hospital, I read a lot of young adult, dystopian novels when I could read.  I read Uglies and Pretties, Cinder and Scarlet, Legend, Haven, Wool Omnibus (not YA), and I reread Divergent for the third time, to name a few.  I also read some great novels in fiction that I would recommend, The Language of Flowers, The Kitchen House, The Night Circus, and The Storyteller.  I've always been an avid reader but dystopian are my favorite.  Harry Potter is still the top of my list.  But there came a time when I couldn't read.  I would try to read, but couldn't focus enough on the story and I would end up just zoning out for hours at a time.  This was when I was really sick.  It took me awhile to get back into reading, which I found surprising.  I read a lot of samples but never wanted to read much more than that.  I've just recently gotten back into it again and last week, I was in the mood for something light and beachy, in anticipation of our upcoming beach vacay.  I downloaded Delinsky's new book, Sweet Salt Air, and all I knew was that it was about two friends, the beach, and some secrets.  Would you believe that it also ended up being about stem cell transplants and liver problems too?!  The irony almost made me believe in a comedic higher power.  Of course, this was about umbilical chord stem cells, which is more controversial, but still, I wouldn't have chosen to read had I known!  It brought back too many memories and I found myself panicking a little when I read it.  I would've put it down but I was mad!  So I made myself read it (I was also already invested in the characters and needed to know what would happen).  I wouldn't really recommend the book, not because of the whole transplant thing, but because the book ends in a perfect bow, and I don't usually like that.

My mom and I are heading to St. Louis soon and we're going to listen to The Girl Who Plays with Fire on cd on the way.  We've found that it makes the drive go much faster. Listening to a book makes it stick in my brain so differently than reading one.  The last book we listened to, The Woods, didn't leave me for a long time and I missed listening to the reader when it was done.  Usually I pick up another book so fast that I have a hard time remembering what the previous book was about, but listening to a story is completely different and, while it takes a bit to get used to, is very enjoyable.  It's kind of a lost art, that harkens back to when people would read sections of poetry or the Bible to their family and guests to end the day.  Before radio and television, that is.

I am writing a book.  Not based on my experience.  A book of fiction.  I've always wanted to write novels and I've started a few in the past but never completed them.  I'm going to complete this one.  I read an author's blog who was adamant: write everyday, even if you don't feel like it. Think of it as a job and just write something.  That's how I'm looking at it, because there are days when I think I have no idea where the novel is going, but then I sit down and start writing and I'm always surprised where it went.  I can now see how a novel starts to take its own shape and grow out of control.  I have to keep a calendar for my characters in addition to my own so that I don't forget their upcoming events!  I've got 4,500 words and I'm still at what feels like the beginning of the story (a novella is typically around 20,000 words and a first novel is generally around 60,000 to put it in perspective).   It's definitely a learning process but I am loving it so far.

Verbal Diarrhea

I wasn't planning on blogging today, but I just had an embarrassing experience and for some reason, whenever that happens, I feel the need to share and relive my shame.  While I was out riding my bicycle with Asher on his trike and Lawson on foot, we met some of our neighbors who live down the street with their cute 19 month old daughter.  After making introductions and planning to play at a later date, I blurted out - "I just had a bone marrow transplant.  That's why I have no hair."  I wasn't wearing my wig, which is becoming more commonplace for me, but I was wearing a helmet and they probably couldn't even see much of my head to begin with.  Actually, that was their first response, "Oh! We didn't even notice..."  Awkward.   While I continued to blab my medical history to these poor people, my legs began to frantically pedal my bicycle further and further away, like they were begging my mouth to STOP TALKING. Obviously my insecurity with my short tresses comes out in the form of verbal diarrhea.  As we made our hasty exit, I turned to Lawson, "TMI?" Always trusted to give an honest answer, he responded, "probably." :)

IVIG

Today I had to get IVIG (an immunoglobulin transfusion that most transplants need for awhile until our counts go back up. Immunoglobulins fight infections).  It sucks.  Most people who get IVIG have no problem with it, but I always have a reaction (dizzy, heavy, weird, sickish) and then I have to get a steroid (not the kind that makes you buff).  It takes about 4 hours for the actual infusion but the entire process is closer to 5 hours.  Luckily for me, I got to watch Suits on my iPad and ended up laughing and smirking through much of the treatment.  (If you haven't seen this show, I highly recommend it.)  The hardest part is being at the West Clinic again.  The people are very nice and friendly, but sick, and that's hard for me to see.  I like to pretend that I'm not sick and never was.  A few weeks ago I was outside walking one of my dogs and all of a sudden it hit me - I had a bone marrow transplant.  I couldn't believe it!  A freakin' bone marrow transplant!  How crazy is that?!  I really had forgotten.  Sometimes when I look in the mirror I pretend I'm just a really cool rocker chic who chopped off all of her hair and has an awesome hidden tattoo.  Anyway, I had gotten spoiled the past few weeks and felt too good to go to treatment today.  Luckily I only have to get this once a month for 6 months, but I may talk my way out of it (as I usually do...or at least try to).  I remember in the hospital my mom once said, "You know, most people just say 'okay' when a doctor tells them what to do."  I said, "Really?  Why would they do that?!" - I ALWAYS negotiate when treatment or meds are involved.  I guess Asher got his negotiating skills from me.  His swim teacher said she had never met a toddler who negotiates like Ash and that he is bound to be a lawyer.  I can't tell you how many times Lawson and I would look at each other on our trip and say, "I don't know what to do," as Asher negotiated some new treaty. He definitely keeps us on our toes!

Shout-Out to my Nurses!

To all of my nurses, especially (but not exclusively) to those of 5900,

Words cannot adequately express my gratitude to the amazing women who took care of me, cried with me, and laughed with me throughout my ordeal.  You were some of the kindest, most compassionate, and inspiring people I've ever encountered.  You give so much of yourselves every day and touch so many people.  I couldn't have gone through everything I went through without your care and I am truly honored to have met each of you.  I thank you for all you do and all you did for me.  Sending so much love to incredible nurses, especially mine...xo

Weekend Trip: Little Rock and Hot Springs, AR

    This past weekend, my husband (Lawson), 3 yr old son (Asher), and I decided to head a couple of hours West to Little Rock and Hot Springs for the weekend. We had a great trip filled to capacity with activities to keep both Hun and son busy. We arrived to Little Rock on Thursday in time for a very memorable lunching experience at All Aboard Restaurant, where an electronic train brought our meal directly to our table. Obviously we planned this for Asher's entertainment but I think it was just as exciting to me and Lawson, who successfully completed his first vine of the trip (a vine is a 6 second video from the creators of Twitter - see below). The food was standard American lunch fare: burgers, chicken fingers, fries, etc, but they also offered some healthier options and I opted for a veggie burger for myself. It was definitely worth the visit.



   From there, we ventured to the World of Discovery, a fascinating, hands-on science center and children's museum where we spent hours exploring a huge range of concepts from pulley systems, to frequency, magnetics, electrical currents, manufacturing, and a plethora of just plain fun exhibits.  Our favorite exhibit was downstairs where our son delighted in this huge tubing structure where you could place a colorful scarf inside an entry hole and watch your scarf get sucked through the clear tubing, twisting and turning through a maze that extended up two stories high and onto the ceiling, and then fly out of another hole, floating down slowly enough for Asher to catch it in the air.  He couldn't get enough.  We also spent a lot of time at an adjacent smoke machine, where you could push on the rim of this circular mushroom-like structure and smoke rings would shoot out and up to the ceiling.  We also got to touch a snake and saw all kinds of animals (mice with babies, hermit crabs, a python, and tarantulas). eek!




     After a good two hours at the museum, we headed to our hotel, Capital Hotel.  It was a little fancy for my taste and I felt slightly uncomfortable with the over the top staff and stuffy ambiance.  I hadn't brought any fine clothes or my pearls (not that I have any) and came prepared for a trip to the lake, not the Riviera.  The staff was friendly though and we were only staying the night.  We decided to head to Peabody Park and the River Market, which were in walking distance of the hotel.  Lawson and Asher played on the slide and climbed through some pretty cool tunnels through huge boulders at this park along the river.  We made our way to the River Market, where all different kinds of food vendors held shop, and cooled down with some very yummy popsicles from Le Pops.  The chocolate popsicle was my favorite of the day, but Lawson thought his cantaloupe pop was very tasty too.  We ate dinner at Copper Grill, nothing extraordinary but a fine restaurant.

     Friday morning we decided to take a trolley ride around downtown Little Rock and were glad that we did.  The trolley was beautifully crafted and our driver was friendly and entertaining.  We decided to stay on for the full length of the tour, which ended up lasting an hour, but if we ever do it over again, we would just do the first half, over the river and back near River Market, because it got a little long for Asher.  After our ride, we decided to explore the submarine our guide pointed out during our tour but it turned out the minimum age was 5 yrs and it was another hour long tour.  So instead we fed the turtles in the water next to the submarine and then headed an hour to Hot Springs, but not before a quick stop to pick up our last taste of Le Pops - the salted caramel pop and lemonade basil pop were yum!

   
The drive to Hot Springs was easy breezy.  When we arrived, we went to an awesome toy store on the downtown strip called The Toy Chest.  I'm partial because the owners are family, but they carry toys that can't be found in big box stores and we had a blast stocking up on gifts.  We rented a condo on Lake Hamilton for this part of the trip and lucked out with great views of the lake.  For dinner we ate at On the Border, because we wanted something quick and easy.  Not ones to skimp on dessert, we found a great local ice cream shop called Scoops and devoured our treats.

Saturday was action-packed.  We started out early for Magic Springs and Crystal Falls amusement and water park.  We had a blast.  After riding all of the kiddie rides, we went to cool off in the wave pool and kiddie water parks.  Asher loved going down the water slides.  For lunch, we decided to find a pizza vendor and also ended up getting to watch a fun pirate show.  We thought Asher would be pooped after the adventures of the morning, but he was still raring to go after our rest time back at the condo so we opted to try the Mid-America Science Museum and were so glad we did.  We all enjoyed the hands-on exhibits and had a hard time leaving.  We dined at Bleu Monkey for dinner and loved the ambiance, large menu, and friendly waitstaff.  We had to try the fried mac and cheese balls (how could they not be good!) and the crabby patty (in honor of Spongebob - Asher's favorite) and really liked everything.

           Side note on Spongebob:  Okay, so I know some of you are probably thinking, how could I let my 3yr old watch such a terrible show.  I'm with you, trust me, I used to be you.  So here I go, pulling my "sick card."  Asher's granddad introduced the show while I was sick in the hospital in St. Louis.  Asher instantly fell in love.  When I returned home to this awful show, full of violence and bad language, I thought I would have to pull out the big guns to put an end to Asher's happy viewing.  However, I have rationalized this many times over:  If Asher had a big brother or sister, he would be exposed to the same foul language and this way I could explain what words are okay and not okay.  This has actually worked.  They use "stupid" (and many other nasty words) on every episode.  When that word crossed Asher's lips, I explained that it was not a nice word and that he is not to say it or no more Spongebob.  He understood and doesn't use it.  In fact, when he hears that word, he covers his mouth and says, "they said the 's'-word!"  Also, his love for this show comes in handy when I need some leverage to quell some behavioral issues innate in many little people of 3 years.

Sunday morning was lovely and laid back.  We got to ride on my great-aunt's and -uncle's boat on Lake Hamilton, Hun and Son swam, and then we enjoyed lunch at Outback before heading home to Memphis.  The drive was a welcome rest from our exhausting trip and we even got to top off our trip with the sight of a beautiful rainbow when we reached Memphis.

All in all, we had a great trip before school started back.  Asher started pre-k (I can't believe it) and is loving it.  Next up, Seaside for Labor Day! Woohoo!


   
 

My blogging beginning...

          At a recent birthday celebration for my grandmother, my great aunt mentioned her own upcoming 80th birthday and how unbelievable it is to reach that age so quickly.  She said if she could do it all over again, she would journal because it's impossible to remember all of the things she's done and experienced over the course of her life.  After a rough year and an amazing summer, I decided a blog would be a good way to record my experiences for myself while also reaching out to others at the same time.  I am about to complete my 28th year and I am beyond fortunate to have made it this far.  If it weren't for modern medicine, I wouldn't be here today and my son would grow up without a mother. Before October of last year, I was a very healthy, active, and physically fit mother of a healthy toddler.  I was passionate about health and nutrition, often reading books and articles on the subject.  I made green smoothies every morning for my family and bought organic fruits, veggies, and whole grains.  Soon after I turned 28, I became very sick.  I thought I had eaten something that had upset my stomach, but after a week I decided I needed to go to the emergency room.  My liver enzymes were extremely elevated and tests were run to determine if I had any of the known Hepatitis viruses, CMV, Parvo, autoimmune, and a million other possible diseases.  I was referred to a GI doctor, and even more tests were run.  Every test came back negative, and they continued to come back negative for every possible disease tested for throughout my sickness.  I couldn't get out of bed, except for doctor visits, for 7 weeks.  I couldn't take care of my son or husband and I couldn't eat.  I lived solely on Gatorade.  My liver numbers after the 7 weeks started to fall back to normal, but then my platelets (blood clotting cells) began to drop.  Soon after that, the rest of my bone marrow failed.  In December, I was diagnosed with Aplastic Anemia (bone marrow failure) and in March, I had a bone marrow transplant, courtesy of my older brother who was also my match.  I was in the hospital for the better part of 6 months.  My mother never left my side.  I didn't see my son for a long time and I wasn't sure I was going to make it.  In May, when I finally got to come home, I started the best summer of my life.  I did experience a brief road block a few weeks after my return home, where I most likely had a little graft-vs-host disease (where my new bone marrow attacked my digestive tract) and had to return to the hospital, but I made it through that and was able to spend my summer with my family.  There is a lot I don't remember of my illness, which is fortunate for me.  My mom, however, didn't have the luxury of some pretty good drugs and probably remembers more than she would like but we're on the other side of it now and it's a far better side to be on.  I feel good again, almost like it didn't happen and it's still crazy to me that it did.  My hair is slowly growing back and is currently a soft fuzz of black that almost covers my scalp.  I bare the scars of my trifusion, port, and bone marrow biopsies, but I survived and I definitely have some pride in that.  Life is good again.